The internet has given us another vehicle to find true love. A custom that is still followed in Orthodox Jewish communities today. How do we find our soul mate? During the 12th century in Europe and Asia, it was customary to hire an intermediary (a shadchan in Hebrew) to find a suitable marriage partner (think of Yentel in “Fiddler on the Roof !”). In the end, finding your soul mate may feel joyous, wonderful and otherworldly, but marriage and long-term relationships are still work and a constant dose of reality. But just because a match is made in heaven doesn’t mean that your marriage will be trouble-free. When they finally meet in this world their bond returns. (Bescherung, a version of the word, is used to describe the exchange of gifts on Christmas.) Others say that it’s from the Yiddish word sher, meaning scissors or shears, the idea being that bashert is something that has been shaped in a specific way, as if cut out by a pair of unseen scissors.Īccording to the Talmud, 40 days before a child is conceived, God has already decided one’s bashert, “literally, a match made in heaven.” While in the Kabbalah, God divides a soul into two halves.
Some argue that the word comes from the German beschert, meaning bestowed or given. The etymology of the Yiddish word, spelled either bashert or beshert, is something of a mystery. Though the term beshert can refer to any fortuitous event, it is most often used in terms of romantic love. It is, in essence, fulfilling your personal destiny, thereby playing your part in the destiny of the world. But the literal translation from Yiddish is “destiny.” The concept of bashert, for those who believe in it, is much more than finding love by being at the right place at the right time. When you talk about romance, love, marriage and Judaism, one other word inevitably comes up - “bashert.” Translated as “fated,” "inevitable" or "preordained", bashert is often used to mean a predestined soulmate.
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